Terren Apples - Kiddie AU

[sliceitwithwind]

Braig was out of the room when Dilan peeked back in, finally. He grabbed the bag, which over the course of packing had taken on capital letters; The Bag. It had the G-strings with their fake fig leaves, the apples, Aya's clear bra, and the container that held one comfortably dozing snake.

Dilan had checked, it was fine to keep the snake curled up in there for the couple of hours it had taken...and he'd checked on it every time they stopped. Still a very large snake. Very large. He poked the remaining lump in the bed, "Aya! He's out!"

He dropped her share of stuff on the bed and started stripping with absolutely no regard for modesty. Not that he'd ever had any. The usual array of noises that occurred after every waxing were made, along with giggles. (Manly giggles.)

Comments

[mitochondriaaya]

"No, but you're still a sight better than she gets to see in the ER most nights so shush."

***

"Yes, my hind-brain recognizes imminent danger. Whoo-hoo!" Way to go brain. "Well, yes, but if we sue over kidneys now we get a jump on the defense and establish a precedent!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Mmmph." he said in return, gripping her hand while the nurse started sewing his face up. Ow, ow, ow.

***

"It's good for you non-predators." said the other half-lemur cheerfully, "But if we sue without reason we could just as easily be charged with wasting the court's time."

[mitochondriaaya]

Oh, baby. They numbed it up! Aya just sat and held his hand. She didn't want to get herself kicked out or something.

***

"Yes, so we don't get munched. Dude you won on the halfsy side. My teeth are like, so blunt in comparison." It wasn't fair! "Hmmm, true. We hold that in reserve then."

[sliceitwithwind]

Hey! It was more punctures on his face. Even if they were too small to add to the scarring, and even knowing that they were supposed to help minimize the scarring didn't help much.

***

"Hee hee hee." It was an actual set of giggles, "Yeah, never met the male donor, but he sure had some awesome genes to pass down."

[mitochondriaaya]

Hush, he'd be fine. See? She was petting his hair!

***

"Teeth genes man. I wanted some. You just have to smile right and people back off. Me, I smile, they point and laugh!"

[sliceitwithwind]

He squeezed her hand and kept his eyes closed. Augh, tug, tug.

***

"Uh, Pierce? I'm also, like, a foot taller than you and a couple hundred pounds heavier. If I had Braig's teeth people would still back off."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Almost done Braig." Really, they were!

***

"Dude, ALLOW ME MY ILLUSIONS!" Pierce sniffed and lolled his head back on the chair. "That or, you know, don't let me watch Shark Week anymore."

[sliceitwithwind]

"Mph." Braig informed them. He wanted to pay and go home now. Or at least back to the hotel. And sleep.

***

"But it's so funny watching you make wistful eyes at the sharks." Dilan teased gently, "Hey, you should come with us when we go visit Great-Grand-Uncle this summer. Blonds are exotic to Dahnil women, you could...borrow...some Katzu teeth."

[mitochondriaaya]

Yes, he could pass out once they got back to the hotel and all. Which came after the care instructions and list of things they needed to get to care for Braig's face. So, hotel after drug store.

***

"Dude...did you just offer to throw me to the katzu sharks?!" WHAT?! REALLY? WAS THIS A GOOD IDEA? Huh, well, were katzu women his kind of woman? He wasn't sure.

[sliceitwithwind]

"I hope you remembered all that." Braig informed her, "Because I am still sorta drunk."

***

"No, no, the Katzu women. You'd like them! They're sweet!" and could eat him alive. Kinda like Aya, but bigger and older.

[mitochondriaaya]

"Mostly, and we're getting a sheet." Aya informed him. "By the way, why are you drunk? You totally skipped the convention!"

***

"With teeth. You thought this whole thing up because of teeth. Sharks man." He snorted. "I'm sure they're sweet. I don't speak katzu!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Saw something my eyes could not stand." he said without thinking, then he blinked, "Couple of creeps going after some cosplayers. Pierce got me out of there before I could get into trouble with security."

***

"Well, yeah. Most of the people where we visit speak at least a little English, when we started visiting we didn't speak much Katzu...and Aya didn't speak any."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Whoa. You filled in security before you left though right? They needed to know that!" Because of course he wouldn't lie to her. She might not get the whole story but if he said there were security issues there were security issues.

***

"You know...it's usually Braig pointing me at girls. This is kinda...a creepy role reversal. Are you channeling? Or do I just have a sigh on my back that says 'Can't get his own dates!'?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Yup, we did." He didn't lie! "Caught the creepers, gave 'em to security, went to go drink. Besides, babe, there's always tomorrow. I can rock the con as an extra from any SF show ever."

***

"Neither." Dilan blinked down at Pierce, "It's what friends do for each other, isn't it? I know we're not as close as you are to the others, but I still think of you as a friend."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Good, I'd have had to glare at you otherwise." And she could glare very well when she was tired! "You know red shirt doesn't equal auto-SF dude right?"

***

"Oh, okay, that makes sense too. I'm glad I don't exude hopeless. That would suck."

[sliceitwithwind]

"Yeah, yeah. If you and Dilan can't figure something out I'll eat my bandage." He would not actually eat his bandage. He took a deep breath and headed for the waiting room.

***

"Nah. It's just that, I dunno. People talk to Braig, you know? They'll tell him if they like someone even if they're too shy to tell the person themselves. Me, I have to guess. Buuuut judging how my relatives go nuts over Aya, it's an educated guess that they'd go nuts over you, too. The two of you look a little alike, with the blonde and the white and the blue eyes and all."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Well, yeah, we can." easy. It avoided bandage chewing. "He's aliiiive!" Aya announced when they came through the doors.

***

"Yeah, people talk to Braig because, I dunno, he's like a vacuum kinda? People need to talk around him." Kinda like social gravity maybe? "Aya told me she's like a doll there sometimes. I'm not sure I can handle getting dressed up and stuff."

And hey, yep, "Aliiiive! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Alive is good!" Dilan agreed, shrugging at Pierce with an expression that said it's as good an explanation as any other. "Well, yeah, but Aya's a girl. The guys don't try to dress her up, they try to have sex with her." And they meet the solid wall that is Braig and Dilan. Although if she really wanted one of the Katzu, they'd get out of the way. It'd be safer than anyone in America taking her virginity.

"Yo." Braig said, "I gotta pay the hospital, Dilan will you get a cab?"

"Yup! And a pizza? We can have pizza back at the hotel, right? Room service is closed, right?"

[mitochondriaaya]

"Well, they're guys." Pierce pointed out. "I won't be dealing with the guys! Except to not get eaten!" You know, in that way where Dilan's people were bigger and had sharper teeth than he did!

Aya blinked, looked at the guys, then grinned. "Hey! Is he coming south?!"

"Apparently, and I totally second the pizza thing. Pizza for all!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Yeah, but the girls will be much more interested in having sex with you than in dressing you up. Trust me, I know Katzu."

"Dude, awesome. It'll be cool to have you there!"

[mitochondriaaya]

"We'll invest in condoms when it comes to that okay. MOVING ON TO PIZZA NOW." Pierce flailed slightly because, sure, boys could talk about possible booty but not when Aya was around it didn't work!

Aya laughed and slung her arms around Braig's shoulders and Dilan's waist. "Pizza."

[sliceitwithwind]

Dilan giggled again (manly giggle, really) and slung his arm over the smaller twos shoulders. "Mine get all the meat on them."

"Veggie pizza for me, dude. I'm being good."

[mitochondriaaya]

"One Hawaiian and one ham an veggies for me!" Aya called.

Pierce...goggled. "You guys and food man. You guys and food. Um, so I don't get my fingers bitten by stealing slices let's do a pepperoni and mushroom for me?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Cool. You want large or medium?" Dilan, having gotten an order for a taxi in, was calling the pizza place, "Yeah, we wanna place an order to be delivered to room 415 of the Hilton? Got paper? Okay...three carnivore specials, extra tip if you toss some raw on top. One Hawaiian, one ham and veggie, two straight veggie...all of those are large. Oh, you have extra-large? Make 'em all extra large!"

Braig poked Dilan in the side, "Breadsticks, dude. And fried mozzarella."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Small, and breadsticks." Pierce sighed and waved a hand in that 'the world is crazy kind of way'.

"Oh, and hot wings!" Aya added. Sometimes she forgot about appetizers! "Tell them to hold it....ten, fifteen minutes though? We gotta go to a drug tore for supplies."