sliceitwithwind | Kiddie AU

Entry tags:

Kiddie AU

Aya and Dilan had been dating for a bit over a month. During that time, Braig quietly put his affairs in order, so to speak.

Oh, not in the wills and death kind of way, but rather in the way that he broke up with the girlfriends as Dilan did (which raised no eyebrows, that was the way it had always been after all), and in the way that he started, and abandoned, a million different ways to approach the other two. Aya first, he knew that much. Dilan was, after all, polyamourous and more likely to follow the other two just because that was what he'd always done. Aya - Aya was monogamous and it could bring this whole house of cards tumbling down.

A house of cards that Braig had spent the majority of his life building, step by step and moment by moment. He'd known what he wanted since he was eleven years old, from the time that Aya shrieked Lions! in her little girl's voice, and Dilan paffed into the dust behind her.

It just took another twenty years for the two of them to start getting the idea...but...they might not want him.

Oh, Fire and Ice, they might not want him.

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"You won't." Braig said, fingers catching hers in a light, gentle squeeze. He fell silent again. Space and wind, how to start? How to start?

"I love you." it's blurted out, and having begun by sounding like an idiot, he just continues, "You and Dilan. Always have. I knew it since you were six, when you fell in the lion pit." His fingers convulse on her hand, "I...fuck me."

"I love you too." It's a simple statement of fact that! She did. Utterly. She wasn't sure, though, where exactly he was going with it. Reassuring her about Dilan?

Um.

Since they fell in the lion pit?

"...what?" She'd missed something. SHE'D MISSED SOMETHING.

"No. Aya."

He sat up...then stood up so that he could pace. Braig wasn't good at this, not at all. That's because, not that deep down, he always knew the girlfriends were temporary. One way or the other.

"You and Dilan always thought of each other as siblings. I guess you thought, think, of me like that too. I've never thought of you as siblings. I love the two of you."

No? No was NOT an answer to 'What'.

She watched him get up with wide eyes, trying to follow things, then watched him pace, turning her head as necessary. What? No, really, WHAT?! "...h..." No, 'How' was a dumb question. "...si..." 'Since when?' had already been answered.

"Six?!"

...

...

...he always called her 'Babe'.

Oh hell.

He kept pacing, forging on with the air of someone waiting to be shot.

"But you always wanted to be siblings. So, like. I was all...got to wait. See if they'll grow out of it. I always knew...if not the two of you, nobody." None of her boyfriends was ever good enough for him. None of them. "Not for long term. I've always loved you. Both of you. You've been mine."

Her gun was in her safe. It had been there all day. She'd forgot that one when she went to work, used her spare at work.

"Braig..."

WHAT THE HELL?!

NO, WHAT?

IT WAS BLOODY CONFESS TO AYA SEASON WASN'T IT?!

"SIT DOWN!" He was making her neck hurt. And her head hurt. And her chest hurt. And she wasn't parsing things very well and ONE OF THOSE VARIOUS HURTS NEEDED TO STOP! "Just...sit down." What was she suppose to do about this?! She had a boyfriend!

He dropped into the nearest chair, "I haven't talked to Dilan about it yet. You're the monogamous one." He didn't just want her, he wanted both of them.

His head hung and he looked...

small. Worn out. Tired. Old.

And that hurt too, but at least she wasn't craning her neck watching him again. And yes...she was monogamous. "Kind of." She said quietly, almost grimly. "That implies...long term." Which she hadn't managed in a long, long time.

"Braig...what am I suppose to do?"

He looked up, gold eye dim, "I don't know, babe. I don't know, but I've waited more than twenty years to say that to you."

"I don't know what to do." It was her turn to knot her fingers in her hair while she tried to think. Braig was...important. He was so damn important, but this? This was...

...so out of left field.

And yes, there had been a part of her that assumed, when she was little, that they would just grow up, get married, and stay a happy family. Every little kid kind of assumed that was how people decided to get married. Well, then they'd grown up. And he'd...

...he'd...

"Is this why you gave me your clothes? Or...why boys always thought you'd kill them? Or..." Sweet, merciless Gifford. Had he sabotaged her?!

"I tried not to let them know just how damn jealous I was." Braig informed his hands, "I really tried to let you...just do your own thing. I was just so damn jealous every time I thought of them touching you. Being with you." he looked up and there was a brief hint of a smile, "I never gave you my clothes, babe. You take them."

Well, of course. "They're comfy." By the time she stole them anyway. "And you never took them back." That implied giving. In her mind anyway.

"Jealous. You were jealous." She just...had to repeat that. God she remembered jealousy when the boys had started dating. She'd been...all messed up. Suddenly there were women, a lot of gorgeous women with the boys instead of her. "You...you just...STAY THERE." She had to get up now. She had to go to the kitchen now. Yes. The kitchen.

"HAVE YOU EATEN?"

"I had a sandwich." he doesn't remember when. "Of course I didn't. You wanted them. I almost always let you have what you want." Unless it would be bad for her. "I was crazy jealous. I wanted to be your first kiss, your first man. Or second, if the first was Dilan. That would've been okay too. But Nevada agreed that you needed to spread your wings, to grow up without the weight of my expectations. My desires."

She was making food then. A sandwich was NOT a meal. Not in their life anyway. Eggs, bacon, and quick biscuits? Totally a meal. Plus it let her not look at him for a bit while they...talked.

This was totally a conversation right? Instead of babbling and panicking?

Nevada. "I miss Nevada." Oh so very much right now.

"I used to wonder...what the hell was so wrong with me. So very wrong that I didn't understand the way you guys lived your lives. And why I couldn't do that. And why just...couldn't get it. Highschool was hell Braig. It was hell, and then everyone was so nice to me because they knew you...except when they were afraid of you...and so I went to a different college." This was something she'd tried to explain before? It wasn't explanation now. It was...logic strings. "That was Nevada's idea too, he told me a long time ago. Then your mom agreed." It was a good idea.

"I know." His voice was barely loud enough to hear in the kitchen, "Mom read me the riot act. Couldn't keep you too near me. Couldn't keep you with me. Had to let you go, had to let you grow and learn and decide what you wanted."

"...yeah, I decided to take care of my family and to hell with the others that drifted in and out." Hence, here she was, with a house designed to be comfy for the three of them instead of her and potential husband.

"Fernandez and Beck, Braig! Why now? Why me? Why Dilan? This isn't just some creepy thing right? Because some of it...could be really creepy if I think about it wrong."

"Because it's always been you." Braig said simply, "It's always been Dilan and it's always been you. I tried to stay out of your love-life, I really did." He couldn't help the way he looked at her boyfriends, but he only ever talked to the ones who were flat out bad people. "I don't know why I love the two of you like that, but...if it's not the two of you, it won't be anyone."

"Now because...Ice and Fire, Aya, how much longer should I have waited?" Twenty years. Nearly twenty one.

That sound? That was the sound of a quiet yelp because she got distracted and the eggs spat at her. Nothing to worry about! NOTHING! "Um, your eggs are not yolky now." Just saying! Scrambled it was!

"Braig...oh wind, what if that damn hamster had run up someone else's leg?" Because if she didn't find something to laugh about VERY SOON she was going to just...she had no idea what but it wasn't going to be good.

He'd actually thought about that, but he doubted that his mumble could be heard by purely human ears, "There'd have been a hole in my heart and I'd never have known it. Scrambled is fine."

"Good, because I can't unscramble them." At all. Not at this point! "Cheese? Onion? Whiskey?" VALID OPTIONS!

And...she really wanted a hug. Was it okay to ask for a hug in a situation like this? The random advice elderly ladies told her in town DID NOT COVER THIS! "Can I have a hug?"

"Yes, yes, yes, and of course."

He moved into the kitchen and, when she was turned from the stove, pulled her into the kind of near-rib-cracking hug he always gave. Just like always he buried his nose in her hair, just like always he placed a kiss to her forehead.

Just like always.

SHE COULD DO ALL THREE YES!

Oddly...the hug helped her relax. A little. It was so damn normal, and just like always it just meant he cared. Even when she was freaking out and not understanding, he cared.

Yeah, yeah, she knew he'd said as much but SUBCONSCIOUS LEVELS OKAY?!

"Plates and pour the whiskey? Biscuits are done." She could tell by the smell, though she leaned her chin on his shoulder, arms around his waist, just like normal.

"Okay." he said, giving her one last squeeze before pulling away. He doesn't start in on the I'll cope if you don't want me speech, he's smart enough to know that she needs time.

So he just filled the tumblers with whiskey (LOOK A SHOT IS NOT ENOUGH RIGHT NOW) and set the table.

Ooo, goodie, JUICE GLASSES OF BOOZE!

She dished out eggs and bacon onto plates, then set biscuits in a basket between the two. That done she eyed the glasses and...grabbed the antihistamines from above the sink. "I...don't know how to live like you do Braig." Four pills? No, better make it six, just in case.

"I know." he said, "I know. I just..." he sighed, deeply, and scrunched his hands through his hair again. At this point, his pony-tail is a complete loss. "I had to tell you. I don't know what to do, I don't know what you should do, I just know what I want. I don't know if it's what's best for you, even if you can do it."

He started with the whiskey before she'd even had a chance to sit down. "I want what's best for you. I want you to be happy and healthy and loving and loved even if it's not me. Even if it's not Dilan. But, oh, Time and Void, babe."

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