Terren Apples - Kiddie AU

[sliceitwithwind]

Braig was out of the room when Dilan peeked back in, finally. He grabbed the bag, which over the course of packing had taken on capital letters; The Bag. It had the G-strings with their fake fig leaves, the apples, Aya's clear bra, and the container that held one comfortably dozing snake.

Dilan had checked, it was fine to keep the snake curled up in there for the couple of hours it had taken...and he'd checked on it every time they stopped. Still a very large snake. Very large. He poked the remaining lump in the bed, "Aya! He's out!"

He dropped her share of stuff on the bed and started stripping with absolutely no regard for modesty. Not that he'd ever had any. The usual array of noises that occurred after every waxing were made, along with giggles. (Manly giggles.)

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[sliceitwithwind]

"Aren't as classy." he finally said, "I mean, yeah. I date a lot of girls. But I'm friends with each of them before I date them, and I'm friends with them afterwards. I don't date girls who don't like Dilan, too. I don't date dumb girls. I don't date golddiggers."

[mitochondriaaya]

"So you're picky," he shrugged. "So what? That is not really what the rest of the world sees man." They saw a genius playboy who was too short to be Batman.

[sliceitwithwind]

"The rest of the world can fuck off." Braig said simply, "Here's what matters to me: Dilan and Aya. Mom and dad. You and the girlfriends. My other friends. Anyone else? Fuck 'em. Not worth my time."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Yeah, but Dilan and Aya are gonna live in that world Braig." Pierce shrugged, oddly serious. "How long before they start to catch flak for you? Or start to get the constant brainwashing huh?"

[sliceitwithwind]

It actually made Braig think. He frowned at the bar, then nodded. "Okay, point. I don't want to do anything that'll make them catch flak."

[mitochondriaaya]

"I'm not saying you need to stop dating or anything you know. Elements, you'd die of frustration. Just...I dunno, tone down on how proud you are of the numbers and stuff?" Let society gloss over it a little?

"Besides, you don't wanna have...nothing worth protecting come the day you know? Virtue, whatever, you wanna be worth those two."

[sliceitwithwind]

"I don't throw numbers around." he said, sighing, "It's just...other people who do. I dunno. I'll figure...something out."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Yeah, I've met a couple girls who you've dated who kept track so yeah. Apparently it gets crowded at your Fourth of July camp out thing." Pierce shrugged. "And you know you've got fansites right?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"I try really hard to ignore those." Braig said...then he frowned, "Although the ones about Dilan I get shut down. He doesn't need that shit, he's shy." And being one-of-a-kind didn't help.

[mitochondriaaya]

"Yeah, I tend to crash the ones I stumble across for both of you." He shrugged. After all, it seemed the thing to do when people were being crazy online. "And one creepy one for Aya cause she grew up with you guys. I have, like, evil search engine karma."

Well then.

"Wanna make an auto-crawler to bomb sites?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Dilan'd be better at it than I would." it was honest, "But I think he'd enjoy that a lot." he leaned back on the stool a little, to look at the ceiling, "Fuck, I don't know what to do, man. I don't know."

[mitochondriaaya]

"I'll try to remember to ask Dilan..." Or, you know, he could totally steal a pen from the guy next to him who was signing his credit card slip and scrawl some notes on his arm.

"I don't know either. I have never gotten myself hooked on anyone as bad as you have and I don't think you're gonna just get over it."

[sliceitwithwind]

"No. No, I'm not." he agreed, dropping his head on the bar again, "I've tried, man. I've buried myself in women trying. They're so far inside me I'll never get them out."

[mitochondriaaya]

Pierce reached over (missed the first time), and patted Braig's head. "Okay, we don't try that plan then, we stick with the 'Get you hooked up with your two folk' plan but somehow don't make a botch of it. I was just exploring options man."

And, random...

"Do you think they could get a moogle to play me in the movie of your life?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Dunno, maybe." Braig said to the question, but it was sniffly. Because he actually had a fairly large nose, and it was stuffing up as he entered the beyond morose and crying a little stage of drunkenness.

[mitochondriaaya]

"Dude?" Yes, this was an appalled look over the top of the glasses. "Duuuuude?"

[sliceitwithwind]

Bawl! He stuck his head on the larger man's shoulder and just. Bawled. There was hiccuping and misery and soft wailing about loving them and just knowing he was going to fuck up and all kinds of other self-haty sounds.

[mitochondriaaya]

GAHHHHHHH!

JUST...GAHHHHHHH!

Yes, the arm not currently trapped under a Braig may be flailing.

"Fuck, dude, alright, we'll figure it out, I swear, just..."

[sliceitwithwind]

Eventually he managed to get into hiccuping. "I love them. So much. I love them so much."

[mitochondriaaya]

Yeah, eventually Pierce managed to get his arm draped over Braig's shoulder and kinda...thump-hug him. "I know man," now. "I know."

[sliceitwithwind]

It took him a while to come out of it, by which point his credit card had been returned and the Moogle bartender informed them that Braig was cut off.

"Sorry, dude. Sorry. 'M sorry."

[mitochondriaaya]

Wise moogle was wise.

Drunk Pierce was finishing his last glass before Braig stole it.

"Don't apologize man, you hurt you know? It's what friends are for."

[sliceitwithwind]

"You're the best, man. You're the best." He mumbled back into Pierce's shoulder, "Even let you date Aya for a week. That's how much I like you."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Yeah, I know, I'm awesome. And honored dude, cause, well, that was a fun week that ended in creeped out screaming." His. He did scream when he found out Aya's age. Screamed and felt dirty.

[sliceitwithwind]

"Whimp." It was affectionate, though. Very much so.