Terren Apples - Kiddie AU

[sliceitwithwind]

Braig was out of the room when Dilan peeked back in, finally. He grabbed the bag, which over the course of packing had taken on capital letters; The Bag. It had the G-strings with their fake fig leaves, the apples, Aya's clear bra, and the container that held one comfortably dozing snake.

Dilan had checked, it was fine to keep the snake curled up in there for the couple of hours it had taken...and he'd checked on it every time they stopped. Still a very large snake. Very large. He poked the remaining lump in the bed, "Aya! He's out!"

He dropped her share of stuff on the bed and started stripping with absolutely no regard for modesty. Not that he'd ever had any. The usual array of noises that occurred after every waxing were made, along with giggles. (Manly giggles.)

Comments

[sliceitwithwind]

"Compared to me and Dilan, she is." Braig was serious, "She's above-average intelligence, but she's not even as smart as you are. She's well adjusted, she's beautiful, she's driven, but she doesn't have more than the average set of neurosis - primarily based on her feelings of inadequacy based on not being on the same mental level as myself and Dilan. She's amazing...but compared to the majority of my life, she's the normal one."

Every word drips with love. Not sickly, cloying, stalkery "love", but that bone-deep, blood-deep appreciation for the whole of a person as they really are.

[mitochondriaaya]

Oh, good, if Braig had gone saccharine stalker man on him Pierce would have had to slam the man's head into the bar a few times. "Dude, she wouldn't know normal if it bit her. She'd not you guys, sure, but she's not normal even setting the 'gotta keep up' thing aside. That's part of what makes her hot. There's a whole lot of normal out there and Aya...isn't. I think your reality scale is skewed though. It's okay." Thoughtful silenece time. Then...

"...I might have the tools to fix that."

[sliceitwithwind]

"...What?" Braig is drunk enough to have NO clue what Pierce is talking about, regarding tools.

He slapped his credit card down for the Moogle and said, "Run a tab, keep 'em coming. Me and blondie."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Fixing a reality scale. Can't be too different from...hmmm..." Pierce, the guy who thought mad science and interesting applications of new tools was plausible when drunk.

And yes, he might already be sketching a circuit board layout with a drop of booze and a handy counter top. "...though I guess that might. Yeah. Anyway. So. You don't even want any pics or anything of them? I mean, they don't have much ego really, this has got to be helping their esteem a little."

[sliceitwithwind]

"Pierce. I haven't had a hot shower since Aya hit puberty. I am not a god." He'd die if he had photographs. Or jack off until he passed out.

[mitochondriaaya]

"....whoa." That was like...wearing a hair shirt, or self flagellation. Bathing in cold mountain streams for purity and shit, even if they came from a tap. "Right, no pictures. And that's totally why you wanted to take people's heads off right? How the hell do you handle then dating?"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Yes. That is." His lips twisted into something sort-of like a smile, "It's easier with Dilan, because we date the same girls. It's not easy, though. I am so fucking jealous all the fucking time. It's like. Damn."

[mitochondriaaya]

Pierce is watching you Braig, just so you know. With that 'I shouldn't be surprised or amused but I kinda am' look. "You hide the constant, seething hatred for competitors well most days. Maybe it hides behind the ego?" A lot could be eclipsed by the ego.

Hell, small countries could be hidden in the shadow of that ego.

[sliceitwithwind]

"I will...never never admit this. Ever again." Braig said, "But some of the ego is for show. To help hide shit. It's fucking painful, dude, but if I want things to be good...it's how it has to be."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Dude, does that mean if things work out that some of the go will go away?" Color him...skeptical. A little. "So, anyway, fill me in on your master plan here so I don't accidentally step on shit."

[sliceitwithwind]

"...Mmmmmaybe." No. The Egosphere reigns supreme. "Um. Don't be a fucking idiot, let them figure out what they want in life, eventually confess?"

It seemed like a good plan to him?

[mitochondriaaya]

"Oooooookay. Time frame?" Because, well, eventually was a long time away and Aya was at a college with, well, guys. "And just so you know? Assault of con dudes totally goes under 'fucking idiot' tonight. Let's work on that! We can have hand signals!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"No fucking clue." Braig said with a snort, "It'll take however long it takes. They, like, totally swung first."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Only cause you're really, really good at provoking people." Maybe it was a pheromones or something? Or just sheer macho overbearing tweaking male egos. "You know this is gonna make stuff awkward a little. I mean...Aya's my friend. and I'm gonna be supportive of her and stuff, but you're my friend and...augh."

[sliceitwithwind]

"Yeah, I know." He really is good at provoking people. It makes things easier in the long run. "Nah, it's easy. Support her and be ready to beat the shit out of me with a bat if I fuck up."

[mitochondriaaya]

...he may have tried to inhale some of his drink there. Pardon him while he gasps Braig. "Will you be hitting back?!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"Not if you tell me I'm fucking up Aya or Dilan." Braig said simply, "I trust you not to abuse it, man."

[mitochondriaaya]

"Okay, note to self, if going at Braig with a bat, preface with war cry about fucking up the others." He touched his fingers to his forehead like he was hitting a record button.

[sliceitwithwind]

It made Braig snort a little, and take a slug from his latest drink (he isn't sure what it is, but the little dude is taking them at their word as far as fucked up and brain killing goes).

[mitochondriaaya]

"Sure, snort, see if I don't some day." Pierce pointed a finger dramatically at Braig then finished off his latest glass too. Couldn't fall behind really (toothpaste drink aside). "I get to be your suspicious, brooding, romance Batman."

[sliceitwithwind]

"...Dude." Braig looked up at the taller man, "You do suspicious okay, but the rest? As if."

[mitochondriaaya]

"No no no! Here me out! I've got gadgets, I get to be uber suspicious of your motives, and a tendency to operate at night despite the sunglasses! And I can brood about maybe fucking your thing up, or fucking their things up, and fucking my things up in my spare time!"

[sliceitwithwind]

"I think you're more trashed than I am. Why are you more trashed than me? I need more alcohol."

[mitochondriaaya]

"No, I just like Batman. You're right though, I don't have the pecs." He was not as trashed as Braig! He was just goofy. "And no one really wants to see me in spandex."

[sliceitwithwind]

"Eh, I know a couple of girls who wouldn't mind." Because part of why Pierce likes Braig is that Braig directs him towards women interested in blond, skinny, half-Olia geeks. "Remind me to give you numbers tomorrow."